identity crisis

Haven't told anyone about this experience, let alone my parents. But since idk anyone from this site I guess it's fine to ask here..
My father has 2 younger siblings, one with a short age gap and another with a huge age gap (for example if the middle child was married the youngest was still around middle school).. When I was 3 or 4 (?) years old I was really close with him since I was an introverted child due to social anxiety. He was always around the house and played with me to keep me entertained and as a child I naturally gave him 100% trust. Little did I know he was sorta like, grooming? Me? a 4 year old. Then one time (it actually happened twice) he actually raped me. Though it didn't happen all the way where he would put it in, I still consider it as rape. ANYWAYS BACK TO WHAT I WANNA SAY, I opened up to my friend about 'it' since they were curious how I figured out my gender identity and sexuality. I was comfy with them so I told them about how disgusted I was with my body and how being female or male made me unbelievably uncomfortable and gave me dysphoria and then suddenly they asked "what gender have you dated so far?" I answered "Girls, so far." and then they had the audacity to say, "Aren't you just using your quote and quote (yeah they actually said the quote and quote part) "sexuality and gender" as an excuse not to date guys cause you're scared? I bet you're actually not even genderfluid. Also, you said he never put it in so he didn't rape you there's no reason for u to be disgusted with your body??". I blocked em lol. But now I'm having a breakdown with all these blunt opinions about my identity. I FINALLY FIGURED MYSELF OUT AND I WAS LIVING A LIFE OF COMFORT WITH MY IDENTITY. Please tell me your opinions...