they're just envious of my large dick smh

In Ancient Greece, large penises were associated with foolishness, which would explain why so many statues have tiny ones.

Evidence suggests that back then, small penises were what the people wanted. According to the myths, Priapus, a god of fertility, was cursed by Hera and was horrible, impotent, and ugly. Statues of him always show him with a huge boner, which is the complete opposite to depiction of the more popular gods.