Lord-
Vent.no need to read all, but advice would be really helpful :'/
Ok so I'm not sure what exactly this is, but I think I'm having an identity crisis. I'm the type of person who stresses and mostly overthinks about everything. If I'm not stressed about school, then I'm stressed about family or other minor/major life issues. But lately, I didn't have much worries, life was sort of okay, no school work at all, etc. That's exactly when it started. I suddenly had a thought and was like 'am I straight??' like it was out of nowhere. I never thought about this before, only knowing I'm straight. So for the next few days, I starting questioning my sexuality (sort of). Do I like girls? Can't imagine but idk. Do i like guys? ..yes?? But how would I know that if Ive never dated or like anyone in a romantic way before? (or I might have, maybe had crushes in the past?) There were also times where I wanted to be with someone to cuddle with and always be with, but now I'm doubting that too. Then i thought back to the times where I would think fictional characters or famous people are attractive. But like in general way, not in a romantic way. The I started thinking did I ever like anyone in a romantic way?? Am I asexual or aromantic and just find people good looking??? But I still feel se*ual, like m*sturbating and stuff like that, (if u get what u mean) so after all this I was like oml am I having a sexuality crisis?? IDKK but then I started questioning everything else. for example, what clothes do I prefer?? I always likes hoodies and stuff but idk anymore. I enjoy reading bl and romantic manga/novels, but after I started question stuff, I started to doubt. I even started feeling anxiety looking back on fictional characters I shipped before and stuff like that (like peak anxiety). Did I want them to be in a romantic relationship or just wanted them to be together in a non romantic way? I play this game character but most people like that one so.. I always went by she/her but what if I'm not that? Am I they/them?? But that feels weird too, but does it tho? I don't know. Things 'Do I actually like this thing or not??'...I feel like I'm starting to question everything, like how what I like or disliked, what I am, romantic relationships, maybe even the concept of friendship, my opinions and how I view everything. Basically, what makes me... me. Is this about sexuality?? But then why am I questioning everything else??? And also right now, even when I don't think about these things (or try not to at least) I just feel constant anxiety. Is it because I don't have other things to stress over anymore? Said this a million times but I don't know. I'm confused over everything, and tbh I'm pretty scared about all this.
TLDR- thought it was sexuality crisis but it was actually an identity crisis, sort of I don't really know-.
I went throught this too, and you shouldn't be scared, really; It's a normal and common thing to question things you never did before, as you said, your sexuality; I'm a trans guy, i discovered my identity but my sexuality is still in fog for me, i like both men and women, i still feel more attraction towards women, i never liked GL mangas but i'm ......
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19 06,2021