Hello I finally figured out this feature existed thanks to another user whom I forgot the name of.
By the way, my name is Ren and I'm an out of the closet genderfluid bisexual! Anddd.... I'm currently having and identity crisis. I haven't told anyone about this experience, let alone my parents. But since idk anyone from this site I guess it's fine to ask here..
My father has 2 younger siblings, one with a short age gap and another with a huge age gap (for example if the middle child was married the youngest was still around middle school).. When I was 3 or 4 (?) years old I was really close with him since I was an introverted child due to social anxiety. He was always around the house and played with me to keep me entertained and as a child I naturally gave him 100% trust. Little did I know he was sorta like, grooming? Me? a 4 year old. Then one time (it actually happened twice) he actually raped me. Though it didn't happen all the way where he would put it in, I still consider it as rape. ANYWAYS BACK TO WHAT I WANNA SAY, I opened up to my friend about 'it' since they were curious how I figured out my gender identity and sexuality. I was comfy with them so I told them about how disgusted I was with my body and how being female or male made me unbelievably uncomfortable and gave me dysphoria and then suddenly they asked "what gender have you dated so far?" I answered "Girls, so far." and then they had the audacity to say, "Aren't you just using your quote and quote (yeah they actually said the quote and quote part) "sexuality and gender" as an excuse not to date guys cause you're scared? I bet you're actually not even genderfluid. Also, you said he never put it in so he didn't rape you there's no reason for u to be disgusted with your body??". I blocked em lol. But now I'm having a breakdown with all these blunt opinions about my identity. I FINALLY FIGURED MYSELF OUT AND I WAS LIVING A LIFE OF COMFORT WITH MY IDENTITY. Please tell me your opinions...
Messages
I feel really sorry for you to have to go through such hardship. Your friends were insensitive and stupid when you tried to be open to them. All their reasoning just sounds like they don't really wanna deal with you or take you serious as person. To belittle your experiences and invalidate your gender identity is just plain rude and cruel.
Please don't take their bullshit to heart, you are who you are and it's completely fine and valid! Your experiences with that crazy child molester aren't necessarily connected to that.
And even if they were, so what? He hurt you, he betrayed you, he destroyed your trust and it's absolutely ok to resolve to distrust. You need to be safe and protected as a child and he just stomped all over that. Putting his dick in or not doesn't make an ounce of difference! It's your fucking right to feel unsafe and be scared after all that!
I hope you are safe now though and that guy doesn't have any access to you anymore. Please don't give up on trying to find other people to talk to and maybe help you sort your feelings out. You were very brave to try and share your feelings and I just wish for you to find someone who will react like a decent human being next time!