Hey, It's me

I know this is a weird place to say something like this but I can't talk to my family. So I'll just do it here, I have to get it out somehow right? I feel sad, Like really sad and I want to kill myself. I was about to do it a few weeks ago but my friends stopped me. I promised one of them that I would not hurt myself, But I'm afraid, I'm going to have to break that promise, I thought I might as well stay alive a little while longer for my friends, but I can't because I have done nothing but let them down, I was selfish didn't agree with them most of the time, and even insulted them, I thought for a minute that it's them they are the problem.l but no, The problem was and is me. I'm the problem. I'm the one who caused them this disappointment. After going over this over and over again, I realized that I am also the problem in real life. The issue has always been me, as my parents are always fighting. I realized that it's me that is at fault. Usually, when I make an error or I forget something, the fighting begins. I was the issue the whole time. So I'm going to fix this issue The only way I know how to. I am going to end it, I am really going to do this, For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm doing the right thing. In any case, this will probably be the last time you hear from me. Vielen Dank für Ihre Aufmerksamkeit. Goodbye