i used to bully a girl until she cried because i had a crush on her

Okay i suddenly remember that when i was a kid, like 6-7 y/o. I used to bully this girl, she's a year younger than me; I bullied her for a few weeks i think? I dont remember much. i have a goldfish memory.
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Anyways, you wanna know why i like to bully her? I can't believe my past self -_-|| . Because- . It was because i liked her face when she's crying...she looks beautiful and cute somehow. Well, i mean like, at that time, obviously i don't know that you can like a girl (i'm a girl) ←_← well let's just say, i had a crush on her when i was a kid.
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How do i know her crying face was pretty? I accidentally...saw her crying and thought she looks beautiful... -_-||
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Anyways after i made her cry for like uh 5-7 times i think -_-|| , i hardly see her after that. I mean we're neighbour, schoolmate, and my gram was a nanny, so she took care of her little brothers (and other children). It's rare to see her. I only saw her roughly 3-5 times a month. Like when she took out her trash, she picked up her little brothers, we bumped into each other. So yeah.
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And now i am...i dont want to tell my age but let's just say uh somewhere between 10s and 20s ←_←. And finally i know why she's almost like scared or awkward around me after that. Like example if i were 7, she was 6, and then into the future, (but it's a past for me now), i was 11, and she was 10. And then when we bumped into each other, and i talked to her, she looks like she wants to get away quickly, and there was me, clueless as fuck T_T.
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Oh i already moved out of that place because of family like a year ago. Even 3-9 months before i moved out, it's rare to see her too, i only saw her once every 2 months. So I never got to apologize to her. I don't know what's wrong with my 6-7 y/o self.
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This memory suddenly came to me with some other embarrassing memories lol, and sorry for any grammar mistake.