kind of a rant/genuine question

so my mother is quite mentally ableist and i was just wondering if asking if i hear voices in my head a form of gaslighting? like whenever i show symptoms of my mental illness, she asks if i hear voices. am i overreacting? is it gaslighting? i mean i already know my mum used to gaslight me and i can sort of grasp what it means to gaslight someone. is it just her being ableist, gaslighting or both? i get sorta paranoid when she asks that question especially because i still sometimes feel like none of my traumatic memories are real or "traumatic" and i'm sensitive/overreacting/ "crazy". i'm scared to go back to actually thinking that way. ugh i really don't know anymore. i don't think she's even intentionally gaslighting me haha. i really can't be bothered anymore. i'm scared. i think i'm in one of those times where i'm dangerously suicidal. so i also need advice on that. i'm scared.