need for advise ig

ive been in a closet for many many years and i live in a very conservative country and so are my friends and family, but the more years go, the more i feel in pain and i dont want to lie to those who are precious to me. i wanted to come out to my friends but again they are not very open minded about gay people and just today i had a homophobic conversation....ugh idk what to do... i love my friends so much tho and ik they love me too. but i never have told anyone ever that im queer even though all these years. it hurts a lot i cant do it anymore