Having friendship or relationship with people you know through social media

I wonder if there's anyone socially awkward as much as me. I don't know how to attend the community activities I don't why even though I am 20 years old. I still struggle having a proper conversation with people, because when I try to be cold one; I become dictator and when I try to become soft it is like jolly all over me I stick to people and whenever I had a conversation I think about it at least for one month why the hell I just tell this, to that fucking annoying person, he/she is gonna use it. Oh god I am fucked up. And usually I hear that they really make fun of things I share with them. So the topic is that even though I seem tough I am a person and I struggle too and I also want have someone who will be next to me. Due to my bad skills to have a proper communication with people around me I tried using social media but it didn't help too. I know i make this too long what was your experiences with the people you know/met through social media and try to have sth deep like a friendship or relationship? ⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄ sorry for bad English I am not a native speaker.