DAMN THIS LIFE
Fuck this life....now I'm stressing my self and having anxiety and depression just BECAUSE OF THIS DAMN SCHOOL LIFE! Now I'm thinking what would happen to me in the future since I stopped taking classes because of this damn virus. I-i-im pressured by my single mother I want her to be proud of me but she give birth a useless me who can't do anything good. If only I'm perfect child she wants to be. So I can help here and make here proud. I was thinking should I suicide but nahh I'm not that idiot to think I'm also afraid to die and left someone and make them suffer like I'm having right now, but I wish....I wish my future won't fail me to the path I choose right now.
Messages
Changes are not easy and aren't always good. We humans sometimes it's not easy to adapt to something so abrupt like this pandemic. It was a total disaster since this started. I had a breakdown months ago because of this. What you are saying about feeling pressured it's not something I can relate but I can't imagine how suffocating it must be. I used to care so much about making my parents proud I forgot I was a person and need social interactions. I don't have friends or anything then I just didn't care about who was proud of me. I love my parents and I don't want them to be disappointed on me but I'm won't disappoint my self to make them proud never. I know my place first of all I'm a human being second I'm my self them a woman and third I'm their daughter. Choose the path you want to choose understanding and loving your self. Change suuck but it's inexorable fear it's part of life this things are so cliche but stay gold to your self