Coming out as asexual
I came out to my family on my birthday because I thought it would be some sort of a loophole because my idea was ‘you can’t get upset with me on my birthday’. Well, I gathered up my family in our living room and I told them I had something to tell them all. My anxiety got really bad all of a sudden and it was like I couldn’t speak. I was terrified they would make fun of me or tell me I was broken or it was ‘just a phase’. I finally forced myself to tell them. No one knew what asexuality was. I had to do a great deal of explaining in simple terms. My mum didn’t have much of a reaction. My sister acted as if I were stupid. And my grandmother had quite a bit to say about it. Things like ‘you’ll grow out of it’ and ‘you just haven’t found somebody yet’ were carelessly thrown at me by my own grandmother. I had a really rough childhood so I have a really tough wall put up to protect myself. I didn’t want what she said to get to me, but it did. I broke down crying. The things she said were the absolute last things I wanted to hear, especially on my birthday. My 16th birthday of them all. I wanted that day to be special, but instead I ended up crying for an hour and a half. Happy birthday to me. I also tried to come out as genderfluid that day too, but absolutely no one in my house accepted that one. My sister was outraged, my mum wouldn’t believe genderfluidity was real, and my grandmother, just as before, criticized me once again. To this day, no one in my house will agree to call me by my preferred pronouns. It’s tough, but I’m dealing with it.
Messages
I came out to my dad about being asexual he said that that thing in relationships are important but I disagree and he said "that's basically just a roommate" -_- I am also trans and they think it's a phase but nah. Just be who u want to be and don't let people put you down by saying something rude you are who you are and you know deep inside that you are that. Plus they can't control you forever but you may end up having conflict but I think eventually they'll learn. I'm 17 and next year I'll be taking care of myself mostly.
Firstly, I am really sorry for your experience. I truly hope that you are able to find a support system where you feel celebrated and not persecuted for your sexuality. That's not right and people need to be more conscious about how their actions make affect others.
I don't love labels but I am probably bi. I feel like I could like anyone but I know I do have preference (physically) for males. The reality is that sexuality is fluid though so sometimes I like something more than something else (why I say bi). I could never come out to my family though. My parents are ultra religious and even now they don't approve of my choices (as a young adult) because I don't 'pray enough' like my siblings. My parents don't really understand anything that isn't straight very well and I know if I came out it would definitely ruin my relationship with them.
So I commend you on having the courage to come out to your family the way you did.
I don't even bother trying to come out as asexual to my family, because I know what their reactions would be. Same with not believing in christian god. They aren't safe people to talk about what's bothering me. They don't know anything about me, and neither does anyone else. I'm really sorry this happened to you, and I know how it feels to not only have own family accept you, but also try to suppress it and tell you what you feel is wrong. I have been in a similar situation, but with telling them I don't believe in their god. My own grandmother, who I thought was the only person who cared about me, told me I will kill my parents because I'm not religious because people who aren't religious do that.
I hate all of them to the core. All I need my family for is costs of living.
I'm really sorry this happened to you. I've been thinking for years that I'm asexual but I've only told a friend of mine about it and she took it very well. I don't plan to talk about it with narrow minds, it doesn't worth it. Don't care about what others think and just be yourself, it's the only thing that matters <3
Hi, too bad it happened that way, I'm sorry you had to experience that. I'm also asexual and I've known that since my teens. I've never come out although I do have a symbol of asexuality tattooed on my inner wrist. I'm 29 so I don't feel the need to tell anyone about my sexuality, it's just none of their business. I'm an adult so I don't have to listen to anything they say and can safely ignore them. I think maybe you came out too soon? Perhaps waiting until you are independent would have been better. All you can do just now is wait, either for them to accept you or until you get out of your parent's house. I hope things will be better for you. Be patient and don't let them get you down. Feel free to contact me if you feel the need to talk about your problems. Wish you luck!
I'm so sorry that happened to you! Im pan and i came out on New Years Eve since its supposed to be a happy time and who wants to leave the year in a bad way right? My stepdad told me it isn't a real sexuality, my sister looked at me like i was a freak and my mum can never remember that im pan. They told my grandparents, who are extremely christian, and they keep trying to change me to be at least bisexual. Still figuring out my gender atm, but it worries me so much to talk to them about it now. If things get too hard feel free to drop me a message! I will be ore than happy to talk to you, but be prepared for some bad puns.