How to get a job as a useless teenager with no experience?

Hello. Useless teenager with no experience here. Quite honestly I can not imagine even taking up a job as a waiter or shop assistant because somehow, someway i always manage to fuck everything up.

I wish there was a job where you could just stand there looking cute and get tons of cash for it. As the world's ultimate chad i believe i am entitled to such money as just being in my presence alone is a privilege.