died a little

i just saw a couple on insta (long distance) and now i feel so single
like i read manga 24/7 and i can identify that its fiction so therefore im fine, but seeing a singular long, healthy relationship on instagram just made me realize that quarantine has effected my romantic relationships and i havent even had a genuine crush in so long. like ive edated (wattpad-dark times-)before but twt scares me and insta is very intimidating to post on so im just like .... lonely.
i think im sad about it but also i just want to feel the feeling of having a crush over someone and loving everything about them.
maybe i should just go back to reading manga and playing obey me