Holy fuck this is long but i need to vent

sorry can i just vent to you for a sec my uncle is so fucking annoying i went over to his house for pizza and when no one was around he started talking about shit i didnt even ask like "you dont know nothing" and im like "yea you dont know nothing either" and then hes like talking about how "people like me" im assuming he means the lgbt community get shot and killed on the streets, or are killed in jail if they ever go to jail (cause hes a policeman) and i'm like bruh do i look like i fucking care if i die? i try so hard to be the zen one in the family always smiling on the outside always trying to cheer everyone up i always ask how everyones day has been and if they ate that morning and i am nice to literally everyone except my older sister but thats cause shes a bitch to me, but thats not important. why does literally everyone in the world put me down and tell me i'm stupid and i cant do anything right and im worthless and a mistake and im not supposed to be here and i should just go off and kill myself and no one would care and everyone hates me and the world is against me but the world doesnt even know who i am so how do they hate me im irrelevant to everything i dont have a purpose.

If everyone i know gonna be telling me that, and then get mad when i say something about my mental health that i am anything less than happy, i'm the one thats blamed for it, or my friends are "toxic" when they are the only one's who even listen to me. Yall i love my immediate family, but everyone else in my family i fucking hate and they hate me too. We're supposed to be family and look out for each other but all they looking out for is that insurance money they'd get after they wait for me to kms.

Yall expect me to keep up this act but it is so goddamn hard and i try like on a scale of 1 to 10 of acting, i'm like an 11 i could be a professional. Thats how bad its gotten lately sorry for venting i just really hate my uncle rn
And then he gonna tell me after all these "warnings" more like threats if i dont turn straight. he gonna tell me "i'm only telling you all this cause i love you thiissssssssssss much" bitch if you loved me you would let me leave your house like hoe i just came here for pizza my goddddd