Intrusive thoughts about the future and past

Sometimes before i go to bed, i always think about my loved ones dying when i grow up and to think about that makes me cry a lot. There's also times where i think about my past a lot and how i shouldn't have been the way i was. It's pretty hard to forgive and forget when you can't even forgive yourself. When that happens, i try to watch a video or something to keep me occupied with what's going on in my mind and then about an hour later, I'm good to go to bed.