god is dead
Just got of the phone with my best friend.
She called me during lunch since we both do virtual school. We said out hi's and then, I quote, she said "Its nice to hear your voice." I panicked. I PANICKED LIKE THE BI PAN IDFK ANYMORE FOOL I WAS. OH GOD IS SHE GAY/BI/PAN? AM I OVERREACTING? YES! AM I INTERESTED IN HER? She laughed awkwardly and then started saying something and then I snapped out of it and interrupted her.
"Same, yeah yeah its nice to hear your voice too. Especially after so long. Yeah." I sounded like a fcking dork. Then we both giggled and moved on. We talked about the US election because that's funny and entertaining to talk about and when I hung up my mom walked over and touched my cheek and said it was so hot. I then realized I have been blushing for awhile and my cheeks and burning. OH GOD HOW AM I GONNA EXPLAIN THIS??? I said it was probably because I was kinda holding back my laughs. YES I DON'T HAVE BRAIN CELLS AND SUCK AT LYING APPARENTLY. And then I was reminded of the dream I had a year ago. A dream where I kissed her and dated her. FUCK. NO. SHE. IS. JUST. A. CLOSE. FRIEND. AHAHAHA FUCK THE FIRST TIME I THINK I LIKE SOMEONE IT HAS TO BE MY BEST FRIEND. AND SHE'S CUTE. AND PRETTY. AND SMART. AND ATHLETIC. AND OUT OF MY LEAGUE. AND JUST A FRIEND? AND MY MOM TOLD MY DAD ABOUT HOW I WAS BLUSHING AFTER I GOT OFF THE PHONE. I HAVEN'T COME OUT YET. DO THEY KNOW? ARE THEY SUSPECTING? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. what do i do? do i like her? and do you think my parents have figured it out? (╯°Д °)╯╧╧
this just made me realize how lonely i am.God i wanna be in love too
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12 04,2021