My "experiance" of trying to kill myself

Well i wanted to kill myself a few times before.In the end i always failed or somebody stopped me , so obviously i'm still alive.The last time i did it i tried to down myself in my bathing tube but than my mother came in and asked me what i was doing （￣へ￣）i told her that i was just wetting my hair, why would i tell her i wanted to kill myself .... she belived me and just left me alone. I think she and others around me wouldn't really care about my death , but i'm afraid that if one of them would find out that i'm suicidal they would make fun of me for it and thread me even worse. At the moment still thinking about it but i don't belive i will commit suicide this week , maybe if something horrible would happen but not without any reason. The only one who knows about that is my best friend who is ignoring me , i love it and like i said before ... i can't trust anybody else with it. If i survive till next year i might be able to search for somebody who can help me( i'll turn 18 next year ) . So maybe i'll die maybe i won't it doesn't matter anyway.
I'm sorry for this stupid text
Bye