Failed
I tried jumping of the balcony, i couldn't do it. I just lost someone I know to suicide that time and I was honestly scared. Not in the fact that I was gonna die or the pain, but rather what happens after I die. Will everyone just forget about me? That person hung himself, he was 8 years older than me and was my brothers best friend. After that no one talked about it, we just turned on the lights when we sleep so we avoid bad omen. It feels like no one remembers that person. It feels like they didn't even exist in the first place honestly. Even after years no one talked about him, I never even heard his name anymore. I don't even remember what his name was or how he looked. All I know is that he wanted to be a rapper. I got scared and was thinking that if I died then everyone would forget about me. Its honestly scary thinking about it. That was around 3 years ago. Rn I have a lot of suicidal thoughts and I self harm all the time. A few weeks ago I was considering overdosing. I just hate my life honestly.
Messages
I may not know you but I’m glad you are still here. He is not forgotten regardless if you can think of his name or not. Pain doesn’t stop at death, it spreads to others around you. So please do not harm yourself.
Idk if you we're expecting a reply or didn't even want that, but maybe the reason they don't talk about it is bc is too painful to say? You said that basically everyone forgot about him, but you still think about it, he had a impact in your life and in others lives as well. Other people feel the same way about you, maybe even a stranger on the internet will wonder. I hope from the bottom of my heart that things will get better for you, sorry if this comment bothers you
I'm sorry that you're going through all of this. But please don't do it. I can understand how you feel, and I'm free to talk to anytime :)