Represed trauma rounds this halls :'D

I noticed I kind of have more of a problem with people looking at me than most people, and their not looking at my "face" most of the time so I feel grossed out, sometimes feel like I have to cover myself up in clothes when I go out, even tho it's litearally burning outside, what's also a bit frustrating is when people pretend it does not happen, like when my family tries to convince me that they're looking at me for an alternative reason (Ik they're trying to get e to not think about it) but ig it's just kind of disvalidating for me when it's treated like that.
I sometimes really don't get what could be so hard about just not looking at someone in an innapropiate way, I mean pls is it that hard to stop drooling over a someone that really doesn't want to be stared at and is also giving you signals not to (I mean pls what does it take for you to stop staring? I usually either frown at people like this so they know that I don't want them looking at me but some stare even" longe"r when I do it, and if I ignore them they think idk that I don't know they're staring and go ahead and even try to get closer, it freakin' creeps me out Pls SToP It AND MORE SO I'M JUST 14 WhaT The fUCk?! I know my body looks like I'm 20 or something bUT NooOoo pls at least get the hint that I don't wanna get stared at,
there was even some weirdo with literal "white hair" (i mean he looked old) that took the trouble to smile at me with a really gross smuged face and stardted following me wherever I went when I tried to get away from him, I for real thought I was going to be kidnapped I grabbed the phone and started calling my mom telling presuring her to hurry and pick me up while I was in a corner and that was when I was like 12 and a half I think but still is one of the most traumatic memories I've had for a while.
At that age I kind of hated my body just cause I had a big waist and that made me look "older" or "fat" because my waist wasn't as petite as other girls my age and I was also growing faster than them and things like this made me hate that fact more later I did learn I love myself for it and I should not care how anyone else see me and it does bothers me less ig but there's just those days that I'm already not feeling great and I see those kinds of people it really ruins my mood, for real is it really that difficult not to make someone uncomfortable I mean fuck I even get stares like that from my dad it's even creepier man pls I also simp and think people and fictional characters are hot but i'll never do something to make someone uncomfortable in that sense, it's just straight up weird and at times so frustrating and sometimes I wonder if those older men who stare are aware that i'm underaged or don't know, or maybe don't even care.
for real buddy that's fucked up :)
get some dam help.

WOw I really thought I was just writing a short paragraph about how it's not nice when people pretend this shit doesn't happen but I glad I got that off xD

I didn't notice that I still had a problem with this since I thought I didn't cause cause this days I usually just ignore them and don't bother looking at their faces, but ig it really is a problem that bothers me more than i'd like to admit :/

well man i hope this helps bring on more awareness tho I don't know who's gonna bother to read all that and it also has no order.

Really TqsSm if you did read all that and also sorry xd

Well a good day/night to ya'll nice humans
and always remember ur valid, no if you're doing something wrong tho that does not count as valid ʘ‿ʘ but you can always go back to a right path no matter what it's never too late folks (generic laugh)
ur still valid and special as a person despite that tho you'll do a great favor to our universe if you avoided having pedo, fucked up conducts :D
it's ok to make mistakes, everyone does the good thing is that once you've made them you can correct yourself and be better, pls Do ^^

with that pray that we have a more mindful planet bYe BYE <3