Although I'm transmasc

// trigger warning, Surgery explanations, genitals

Its genuinely so hard to change a biologically female body to a males and vice versa, it feels like the world has something against you; When you have to look at all the surgery you'd have to go through if you wanted a dick.

The surgery of top surgery, is a process of either cutting under the breast or the the side of it, and you also have to move the nipples usually.

Now bottom surgery has a lot more too it and I was actually too scared to look it up and think about it because they reconstruct the vagina, to connect with the nerves and such and construct a dick made of flesh from; your arm, your thighs, just skin on your body. It takes a lot of recovery, and I in general am really squeamish over surgery but I wanted to know what could happen.

Though I will say, I've really never felt connected with my reflection, or how others saw me, I never put a name to a face, a pronoun to my gender. One day I saw the way people saw me and I crumbled, I ached over their gazes. I know I don't look awful but I don't look the way I want, its hard to explain, everyone has different experiences.

But I wish it was that simple. I really wish it was.