could never

i have fallen for someone straight before, and i wasn't sure they liked me back or not, they really nice to me and they already knew i had feelings towards them, rumors were rising on the department that they liked me, they didn't even confirm it themselves and we ended the school year not being clear of our feelings, tho we still talk sometimes but it makes me uncomfortable, the way they chat me makes me shiver. One time I told them I was going to go eat they were like "dont leave me i dont have anyone to talk to" and that made me really uncomfortable and a couple of months ago i promised myself i wouldnt go near men ever ever ever again, instead i'm identifying myself as a helicopter and setting my pronouns as disap/pointment