Question about Friends?
So, me and my friend have this friend that has been troubling us lately. I’m not sure about her, but I don’t want to unfriendly her, but I want a way to get through to her.
We have friend one, the one with the problems in question. We have friend two, the one having the most difficulty with her. And we have friend three, me.
Friend one has a bit of an anger issue and trust issues too with a slight narcissistic yet I feel she feels a bit inferior to herself on the inside (that’s what I see at least).
Friend one really likes calling friend two since friend one lives far away from us. At first, it was only like two or three hours a day and only a few days a week, but then she started progressively pressing for longer calls. She’s want to call all day, and eventually even wanted to fall asleep on call. Even for an extrovert, this is a bit much, but friend two is an introvert, so she was really struggling with this and kept trying to set up boundaries. Friend one would either ignore her requests or say things such as “why”, “do you not like me”, “why don’t you trust me” and so forth. When friend two goes to get dinner or does chores, friend one is anyways telling her that it doesn’t take this long to do this or that and they can just call while doing this, but friend two just doesn’t want to call this much.
Friend two has been strict with this, but friend one kind of treat us more us, well, I guess more of forms or entertainment? She treats us like inanimate objects, not companions. When we don’t agree with her or we don’t have an opinion on something, she takes it horribly. She starts off in all caps and starts saying insults to us on how we’re stupid and so on. She really hates furries and generalises them and puts them with beastiality. Friend two and me don’t really have an opinion on furries, because as long as they aren’t doing something weird like beastiality, then we’re fine with them, but friend one really hates this.
I have her in my contacts as “Offended Angry Furry” and she keeps saying how she hates why we talk about her shortness and my contact name for her, but she constantly makes fun of friend two’s tallness and my lack of empathy (my friend isn’t really that tall, she’s just the tallest in the friend group, and I don’t have a “true” lacking of empathy, my parents are just always yelling at me to stop crying but that’s hard because I’m sensitive and they yell at me when I get something below an A+ or A, so I have trouble handling my own emotions and reactions to others because I feel whatever I say will sound insincere) and we love making fun of each other and calling each other rude names like “bitch”, “slut”, “whore”, but it really takes out the fun and joking-ness of it when someone steps on every word you say and says this or that isn’t funny.
My friend two lately got this opportunity for a job on a game that friend one has been trying to get, so friend two let her play sometimes on her account. But after a while she started ignoring friend two’s request to only play when they’re on call, and whenever friend two asks friend one not to do that, she starts saying “why don’t you trust me”, “you’re so two-faced”.
The one my friend hated the most “you get everything handed to you”. Friend one is in the high bracket of middle class, bordering first or even first class. Friend two and me and in the middle/slightly high bracket of middle class. Friend two has literal demon sisters that blame everything on her, and her mom is finally starting to treat her fairly, but my friend is used to getting in trouble because of her sisters. Friend two has gotten yelled at by her dad and grounded because her sister slammed her door, broke a painting, and made a hole in the wall all because “friend two made me mad. It’s all friend two’s fault.”
Friend one on the other hand, complains about the stupidest of stuff. She asked for a laptop so her dad got her one, and she constantly complained about how big it was or how heavy it was. Then she said she was upset because she was going to England instead of France and that she literally didn’t want to go anymore. And she says her parents are mean, but she back-talks to her parents and refuses nice things her parent offer her. If I refuse to eat food with my family, my dad would probably not let me get food for the rest of the day. I remember talking back to my dad once and getting grounded three-extra months.
So, in summary, it infuriates friend two and me when she says we’re spoiled or we get everything handed to us. Of course we are spoiled to a certain degree automatically because we’ve never struggled on money, but then she acts like she’s not the most spoiled out of all of us. And when we say our hair looks nice today or we feel confident, she actually says “well, I’m the prettiest out of all of us because I’m short, small, and thin.” Like, thanks, nice confidence booster.
I personally know she has a few problems, and her therapist has started seeing signs of Schizophrenia, so that’s something that going on too. She wants even more call time with friend two, who has finally started to get closer to her family (yes, a bit ironic) and feel more equal to her sisters. Friend one literally said her mental health was more important than what ever friend two was going through and that she should be there for her.
We’re kind of at a dead end because we feel like our friend is getting a bit out of control and we’re not sure how to deal with this, so suggestions?
Friend one, is nice to hang around, she has a few problems ad it’s getting hard to deal with them.
I’m sorry this is really long, it’s more of a rant if anything. It’s okay if no one reads this, it’s just felt good to rant because we just don’t know how to stop her from stepping over out boundaries and I especially want to help friend two because she’s in the centre of it all.