I wanted attention so I cheated...
I had a LDR once . Even though I wasn't excited about it, I liked the guy quite a lot so I tried.... We chatted and we talked on the phone all the time, but we could only see each other like once every five months or so, and that only lasted for a few days before one of us had to go back. It didn't help that our separate lives were different and we each had our own world.. Eventually, I couldn't handle being alone all the time and I admit, it was nice to have attention from other guys, it just made me feel cared for...and well, as terrible as it sounds, I ended up cheating with someone who was very present in my life at that time.. I then lied about it and tried to keep it a secret at first but my BF wasn't stupid and he got suspicious because I had apparently changed (it must've been true, but It was unconcious of me), so when he asked if I had met someone else, I said yes.. and told him the important stuff, we did all that on the phone and it sucked because he cried really hard.. I felt cheap even while I was apologizing, and then he told me that his mother warned him about being too serious with me which shocked me! what did his mother have to do with any of that??? Eventually I didn't want to talk anymore and felt too exhausted..we just decided to call things off. He tried to contact me again two years later, and he still sends friendly messages from time to time, but I just ignore the whole thing because what's done is done and I don't believe in trying something that already failed once.
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wow. you're a scumbag for sure... there's absolutely no justifying cheating, and for you to say you don't regret cheating and wouldn't have mind if you could've gotten away with it just proves how wrong you are.
a.) even if it's a long distance relationship, it's still a relationship and instead of not putting much thought into it, you could have found ways that could make you feel less lonely with him (phone calls, video calls, small online games/topics to talk about to spice things up, whatever.) or talk about how you felt and maybe he could have given ideas as well.
b.) well obviously you don't like him enough to stay loyal to him. you should have broken up with him and be with that other guy you used to cheat on your ex since he made you happier. sorry to break it to you but you can't have both, hun.
and yeah, everything you said sounds horrible. because it IS horrible. everything's complicated but that doesn't mean you can't WORK things out and actually TRY. cheating's all black, sweetie.
I kind of agree with @droopii on this one since I know how it feels to be cheated on, but what I admire is that you did the right thing in the end without accusing him. Unlike my case my ex blamed everything on me saying I wasn't paying attention to her even though I do admit I wasn't the best of gf to her but she should have talked to me about it. We were together for half a year but in that short amount of time she cheated on me 6 times and was in a LDR with another chick for a month before we broke up and to make matters worse I had to find out from her bff that she was cheating on me with some one else the day I called her to talk to her cause I missed her. But hey as you said what has been done is done.
I'm sorry you got cheated on... I hope you don't let the experience taint your views about relationships. I suppose what you really need is someone who'll work as hard as you do in maintaining the sparks.. But those are hard to find so the best I can do is wish you good luck ;)
hun, i won't sugarcoat anything but understand what you did was scummy and wrong and yes, you should feel bad. there's literally no reason to cheat. if you were unhappy with your relationship, you had two options. discuss the matter with him or call things off. instead you chose to be a cheater and hurt his feelings. smh
Well, you know, it's easy to say that I should've discussed matters with him or called things off.. but it's a lot harder when you have to actually deal with that because
a) there was nothing to discuss anyway because it was impossible for either of us to be with the other one at the time..I could've forced myself to suck it up but I had been doing that for a while and loneliness just doesn't agree with me
b) as for breaking up...well, simply put, I didn't want to, I liked him!
This is going to sound horrible, but if I had managed to get away with it, I would've done so, without any hesitation. I don't regret the cheating in itself, the guy I cheated with had a good effect on me at the time.. I do regret hurting my ex though.. which is why I wish he had never found out about it.
I know people tend to have a black or white view on cheating...but it's way more complicated than that, as are all things in life.