Yeah all the time

There was just a certain point of my life where i didnt care about anything and i didnt think anyone cared about me. I probably shouldn't be posting this on a website, but when i was really little i got molested by my grandmas 60 year old boyfriend. When i found out at a later age what he did, i have never fely so disgusted at myself, and literally cried myself to sleep every night just thinking about it. i cant even lay with my arms across my boobs cuz i feel so uncomfortable when anyone touches me ANYWHERE. Not to mention my Mom is MIA and i don't even know if hes alive, and my Dad has been doing drugs for years, and basically ruined my life and is at the source of some of my trauma. I dont feel as strongly as i did about suicide when i was in middle school, but sometimes it comes back and i think how it would be so much easier if i wasn't here. But then i think about things to look forward to, like WandaVision and other marvel show. Things like Wattpad and and Webtoons