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kya 11 02,2021
The story is fine, I just have an issue with the formatting. Why are so many `X says´, `Y exclaims´ and `Z shouts´? On this small chapter there are only three characters so there's no need to write who is the spokesperson every single time. This kind of stuff is pretty intuitive in a dialogue filled scene. Here's a handy example on how to do it ......   reply
11 02,2021
DuckityDuck 11 02,2021
I think it *IS* good for her first try... Are you sure this is her first try?   reply
11 02,2021
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be a dumb bitch

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Make a couple!
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Help me please :(
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