Well

Ive been sucidal from the beginning of my teens started off as an angsty teen to want to look cool not knowing why but it became a habit till the point i couldnt cope up with my emotions until i cut myself then i got involved in a toxic realtionship this guy meant the world to me but he made fun of my self harm scars telling me he didnt like people who tried so hard to be "edgy" ,took my sexual harrasment my cousin inflicted upon me as a joke, but i ignored all of them cause at points he was the only thing keeping me alive with the "love" he gave me ended up getting pregnant at 18 guy didnt give two shits and those days i always looked up sleeping pills that can be bought wihout prescription had a miscarrige the dude took it as if it were a blessing and he just got detached till the point i had nothing to hold on to(cause he cheated) . He got over me in 3 months a guy who said hed "marry" me hes happy with his new girl while i still deal with emotional trauma.
Now i dont cut myself but have been coping with myself with smoking .