Pico News #1- Cow Milk or Tiddie Milk?

Hello friends, it is, I, self proclaimed CEO of Pico News. Today I bring you my first topic. COW MILK OR TIDDIE MILK? During this pandemic, the civilians of the United States of Trum- I mean AMERICA, keep complaining how 2020 was the WORST YEAR EVER! The USA has only yet known what's it like to struggle and oh-boy do they complain ALOT! Haha!
ANYWAYS, luckily for them, we here at Pico News, have done many researches by our trusted dark web scientists about Tiddie Milk. Ooohhh yeah, Tiddie Milk, you heard it right, folks. According to the statistics provided by the trustworthy druggi- scientists, we have concluded that Tiddie Milk is 107,89% more healthier and safer than Cow Milk! Can you believe it?
Yes, it is filled with nutritious elements that gives you an extra boost of energy every time you drink it.
And most importantly, it's VERY accessible. Just go up to your mother and BHAM Tiddie Milk. If your mother is dead or old (eww saggy milk, no thank you!), just go to your local park and you'll see plenty of providers! It's free of cost, (besides the court fees, ahem).
We here at Pico News encourage everyone, amid this pandemic, to leave their houses right now and get some Tiddie Milk! AWW YEAAAHHH!! GGGGOOOOOOO!!!!