Love story #2: My true first love

There was this girl on YouTube and (Ill call her A) she has DID. A and her alters had different YouTube channels. (I'll call her alter T) I happened to fall like head over heels with T. She was beautiful, liked coffee, cats and reading. AND she was a Lesbian. She was/is perfect. Unfortunately she lives in Germany but that is besides the point. Anyway her channel suddenly disappeared and A informed us about her situation and that T was gone. A said that she is not a Lesbian and she is married. My heart has been broken ever since then. Honestly that shit messed me up badly. She was my entire world. Gone forever. I think subconsciously I look for people who remind of her and attract myself hoping to find someone who will make me feel like she did.