I don't know who's gonna see this.

I haven't been feeling...great. I'm not out of the closet and I can't bind, (I'm ftm) and every time I see my body, I have a breakdown and resort to self-harming.

I've developed an extreme paranoia of losing everyone I loved and I've been cutting back on eating, my anxiety and depression is going through the roof.

I had an anxiety attack a few hours ago and I almost had one again, I tried to take a bath and it was REALLY hot, I locked the door and sat there for an hour, hoping to get heat stroke and die, but instinct took over and I left the bathroom.

I've relapsed in self harm and I feel like nobody cares, I can't see a therapist and I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Have you ever felt that way?