Can I just die yet?
Like I legitimately want to meet myself off a cliff. I was having a good day. I was getting caught up on schoolwork listening to some anime openings. It was amazing. Me and my dad went to the store and when we came back, my mom was already home from work. And once we all get inside I see my mom has a package, which was my last christmas gift that came in the mail. And so I was like, "ooh what's that?" and she said "before we talk about that, lets talk about this" and she holds up a fucking letter from my school showing my report card for marking period 3 even tho marking period 3 is next Tuesday. So my dad gets kissed. Starts yelling at me and at my mom for defending me. Call me stupid and an idiot and calling my mom a bitch and almost every single name in the book. And then I start crying bc I'm on my period and I get really emotional when I'm on my period and he started calling me a crybaby and so I start crying even more and I go and lock myself in the bathroom while him and my mom are arguing. And he's saying how I'm stupid, that I'm not gonna go to college(even though i have 3 more years), that when I'm 18 I can move out and get a job and when he said that, I yelled that I don't want to be around him anymore. And when I said that he had the nerve to say I could move out when I'm 16 and that he never wanted me. And so he's out in the garage amd I'm in my room trying not to hurt myself. Like, I can't take this anymore. He got into an accident and lost his leg 6 years ago and he got money and it all went to his head. He thought he was better than everyone and started treating me and my mom like absolute shit. And he makes me feel so unwanted and so unloved. Like I honestly wish I was dead. I can't fucking take it anymore. I want to run away and never look back but I can't. I wish it I could actually feel happiness but thanks to him, I can't. I'm sorry for this long ass paragraph but I have no one else I can vent to.
Sorry you had to go through that hopefully the situation gets better, and no you shouldn't kill yourself you are a lovable person and it's not your fault your dad can't see his mistakes. I recommend you to get some therapy if you can't afford therapy try calling suicide prevention hotline other than that you can relive yourself from what's happenin......
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20 01,2021