(His name is uni mistaki btw)I was born in July 17 I’m full male but I look like a girl .at first I had pretty good childhood with my brother nori and my mom and dad but in when I became 6 in my birthday I saw my father got kill right in front of my eyes so did nori and the killer was my uncle.few years later me and nori and my mom escape my mom became quite rich she later adopt 25 children but the violence start I was fill with drugs and shots and gotten almost kill by my adopt siblings I told my mother to stop but she laugh and saw me disgusted.the only persons who never saw me a figure as god was my adopted older sister and nori.I became a puppet to my mom to win gamble and stuff like that I was great at every talent I didn’t wanted that.one year later I killed most of my siblings and my mother. Nori and my sister are far away somewhere I can’t reach.few years later I met someone who was important to me the only person who makes me smile we later switched eyes it fun but he later died in a killing game I wasn’t with him to protect him the only person who saw his true words was me.I later join the killing game and became the mastermind with a different personality. (Yes this is a danganronpa oc)(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ
Ok. So I added a few thing and made it sound less repetitive and also fixed a few grammar and punctuation errors. I didn't change a lot because it is your of but please let me know what you think
I was born in July 17. I’m full male but I look like a girl . At first I had pretty normal childhood with my brother Nori, my mom and dad. But on my ...... reply
It is actually a great plot. All you need to do is fix your grammar a bit (if possible), and try to make it deeper. Use contrast of life and death and you can symbolically represent a few things. If you really do want to make an oc with its origins coming from Danganronpa, then I suggest you try using contrast and symbolism. As a writer, I suggest ...... 2 reply
DANGANRONPA OC’s YES!! I like how you made his motivation for masterminding the killing game very clear :)) but it also really makes me wanna know more about his relationship with the person whose death drove him to utter despair, write more abt that!! Very intriguing and nice overall :)
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