Do you want a relationship?
Lately the topic of relationships has been making me think real good and hard-
I've been in a few relationships in the past, and I've noticed a pattern about my relationships that bothered me enough to make me question why I even decided to get into those relationships. The pattern that I noticed is that I was always attracted to people who had what I lacked, personality wise, and as I started to think about that, I came to the realization that I was attracted to those people because I thought, at the time, that I wouldn't be able to develop, in myself, that quality that the other person had, aka, I didn't have the drive or the self confidence to think that I could better myself and be more like the people I admired.
Now I'm more confident and have more drive and know that I can indeed develop good habits, become better and get myself used to things that might make me uncomfortable but that will be beneficial to me, so now, at this point in my life, I have absolutely ZERO wishes to be in a relationship-
It took some time to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't aware of that at that time, and that to me it was "love", and I tried my best at those relationships as the person I was then.
But hey, what do you think? Have you ever noticed weird patterns about what type of people you graviitate to in relationships and why? I think that finding this out about myself was very helpful, so maybe if you question that about yourself, you might learn something new~
I haven't been in one. Like never.
But I don't want to be in a relationship rn BC I don't think I can give that person the love or the time they deserve :/ I often catch myself often pushing other people away from myself (eg, friends). So I definitely don't need a partner. First I need to work on not pushing other people away.
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31 12,2020