Are y'all miserable? What's keeps you going?

i just want to vent out and y'all can vent out too I'll listen to your problems if that helps even a little







So basically my mom and dad broke up since I was 1, it didn't bother me that much just a little uncomfy by strangers meddling, I am living with my mom and one day as a teenager who has emotional scars I did something that my mom wasn't a fan of (I can't remember what since It's my coping mechanism) my mom told me she'd "give" me to my father or basically disown me I felt hurt since I was a 13 yr old at that time and now as a 16 yrs old she told me the same line again, I felt like I was an object that could be passed around after you got sick of it

I know I'm at fault for being useless and I hate being useless but I'm just a child and she wouldn't even allow me to look for a job to earn money, my problem sounds stupid but yea, If I could live with my father I would but I'm scared of him because he for 1 he is really overprotective that he did something stupid that changed the way I viewed him as a father, he became irrational because he was so drunk and wasted, I don't want to experience that again he change a little bit but I can't be sure he wouldn't do it again, my anxiety piling up and all my pent up frustrations that I've numbed are coming to eat me alive and those memories I wish to forget that I can't even mention it to anyone is coming back. I'm just really on edge just wanna vent out