Make my dreams reality

I want to be a published author and artist, but also I want to develop my own reverse harem. It might seem absurd or unrealistic, but I have my reasons for it. Reading BJ Alex made me realize how much I yearn to be loved. I have many mental problems from past traumas etc, so most of all I want to never be abandoned and become alone ever again. I have a lot of devotion, so I do believe I could make it happen.