I still need to recover completely... maybe if you gimme an answer... ?

FMA Doujinshi, Hermafrodite ,felt like I hit a wall of depression and got stuck for a week... I had read that douji every night before going to sleep but I was still addicted to it and it was scary how addicted I could be to something like a half-axed doujin that if u read without the end, it's just cruelty and pedophilia... how could I get so addicted I still don't get it. I tried a cigarette once,even the electronic ones,I drunk most kind of alcohol (not stupid enough for drug but I plan to pay a visit to Amsterdam just once) ,I don't binge on anything and never got addicted if not for two app games that I very liked but grow bored of it.
Knowing this,can u get the reason of how I am so addicted to this pain?