I was diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) since college, and I have abandonment issues. I don't believe in marriage but sometimes I believe my dream is to have a nice family, I love my fiancee but being attached to one man scares me. What if I'm a terrible wife, what if I don't love him. Things can go from hate to love to hate for me with him. Sex is more of a chore for me than joy but I was assaulted when I was young so that may be a factor. My wedding is around 6 months from now and to this day I still don't know if I love him or is he just the easy way, so I don't have to be alone.
Close your eyes and imagine.
Ten years from now you are married to him. Can you see yourself growing old with him? Does he love you?
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If yes. Don't worry about all the other things.
A friend once asked me. "If you can choose only one what would you choose: Would you choose to have a lover that you desperately love but he doesn't love you, or ...... reply
I have BPD, too. So... Perhaps i can help a little bit?
(Sorry for the grammar)
Love is not... Love. You love every Men/ Women in another way.
You are happy till the moon or you are nervous like a teenager or you have butterflys in your stomach...
But after a while, you will lose it. At least the emotions will weaken.
If you think stuff like: "Am...... reply
You're probably older than me and know much more about life than I do, so, I don't know whether this will help you or not. You really can't tell when you're in love. It just happens. You never even know when, how, where and how. You fall in love just like that. But yeah, you can definitely know when you realized your own feelings. Love isn't about...... reply
