I feel like a loser my life is RUINED.......

Middle school was the only year I actually felt I had a purpose and with actual good friends... But once highschool started I had to start over with 0 again since the others were either younger or went to another school... I did made good friends though but they all fucking moved away or were seniors so thats that....
but here's what I feel I ruined, I should have not been a bitch to my ex and acted more nicer but I wasn't feeling alright :(( , and if I wasn't made to have good friends again I should have had the best grades to be succesful but I fucked that up too.. now I have straight A's but its only senior year..... I do have two friends, but again one graduated already (we still talk) and the other I feel like she's only with me because she doesnt wanna be lonely.... Thats it...... the only reason why I dont kms is because I wanna create mangas when I grow up everything else fucking sucks..... Im rlly just hopeful loser :/