im actually confused

so
both of my grandparents have corona and my grandpa is getting hospitalized because he can't breathe
i'm actually questioning whether I should be sad or not because

why I shouldn't be sad:

1. they had a huge party which IS NOT ALLOWED during quarantine
2. I didn't even know them to begin with (even if my mom told me that I loved them when I was little)
3. my dad is in a groupchat with my family and they talk at 6am about my grandpa and it's really annoying because they videochat and my dad's at that age where he yells into his phone and doesn't know how to turn down his volume even when I ask him

why I should be sad:
1. Because they're family
2. i'll feel guilty if i don't feel sad
3. they're old