I know that I'm not mentally stable but I've never went to a psychologist for consultation.
This may be a bit toxic for some people so if you hate to ruin your mood please don't read it.
I've never been diagnosed for any mental disease or disorder but I know for myself that I'm not mentally healthy. My anxiety is getting worse to the point that I find myself staring at our ceiling in 3 am eventhough I went to bed at 9 pm. Just thinking of things that makes my heart pound so loud I feel like my ears are hurting. Back then I cry myself to sleep but now I can't cry anymore. I just feel really empty that bunch of questions and what if's are the only things inside of me. Everything seems bland. I'm like a piece of leaf falling down a tree endlessly.
I'm tired of it. I just want to be happy, eventhough it's just a bit happier...maybe it can take the pain away little by little.
Sorry for posting this, I just want to let it out for me not to burst. I hope today would be better.
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In highschool I had dissociated from real life so bad my grades went from honor roll to straight F’s I would cry every lunch then come back to class as if nothing happened, I slept through most my classes, and quit my sport that I truly loved and still love til this day because I felt I was holding them back because I wasn’t mentally in it all the way. My school counselor recommended me to a child therapist and I started seeing them every week and I gotta say it didn’t get all the way better immediately but I felt a lot lighter after my sessions. Therapy really got me through my last year of highschool and I don’t think I would have graduated without it. I recommend you looking into it because you need at least one stable and productive outlet to feel as tho things will get better. Anime and manga is nice but it can be all consuming. You’ll lose time not only on task you need to get done but also time you need to figure out how to control your self and your own thoughts. And I know it’s hard to feel the motivation when your down but working out or art can really heal the spirit I believe. Hope you find your solution soon boo. Just know you’ll only find your solution through living your life.
I didn't get notified with your comment but thank youuuu so much. Actually I found a new hobby, which is painting. I enjoyed it a lot and even though I'm not at all cured from my anxieties I feel so much better now. I paint regularly and everytime I paint, it feels like I'm understanding myself even more. I now accept my problems and worries with calm and try to think of ways in order for me to feel better. I'm doing much better nowww
I just recommend to talk to a therapist, I hope you feel better
I've watch a video about self healing and one of the ways was to try new hobbies. I started painting and I can say that I feel better now than before. My progress is maybe slow but nonetheless, slow progress is still a progressヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~