It's quite an experience

How do I say this... I think I hate it. I went under so much stress that I had gastritis a few days before the semester was going to end, meaning lots of presentations, exams, lab practical I had to ask for a reschedule (all of them approved, but most of them needed the original copy of my medical certificate, which was a pain to get since there's usually a long line when I go and had to pay for each copy too) and actually got an earful from one of my professors. And that's just my 3rd year in college. I don't want to say this since it's self diagnosis (sadly the country I'm in, especially in a small town, isn't big about mental health and therapist and whatnot. In my family it's probably treated as something miscellaneous, unlike going to a hospital bc for being physically sick) but I've been experiencing anxiety attack and depression since I was in my first year, the first time I ever received a failing grade.

But somehow my parents, and well, society, drilled it in my head that I needed to go to college to be successful in life. And I don't even like my major, f* me. All of my friends graduated/dropped out so I have no one to lean on. I can't make friends bc somehow they already formed into a clique and frankly idgaf.

So yea, I'm still struggling and I definitely hate it.