Have yall felt like you don't have any real friends?

Not really yaoi related but It's 1:52am here and I'm anemic and I'm supposedly an early sleeper but yeah, I can't sleep. Suddenly my brain just bombarded me with the thought of me not having anyone to tell my thoughts and secrets to or even share the same interests(*ehem* yaoi *ehem* nice asses) with I hate being alone.

I have people I can crack a few jokes here and there, some to walk home with, ask to come with me to the rest room and shit like that but I just realized that I don't have "legitimate friends". Those that I can send VMs to and send my ugly ass face to. I tried to share my secrets with those I called friends before but I just ended up disappointed and my secret being told to the whole class. There's also a time where one tried to force me to tell them everything about me using an account that they just made for the sole purpose of getting info out of me(they even acted like they didnt know) and a time where a "friend" decided to pull a prank on me and ask me out on an account with the name of the person I like plus, they trust all of the group work on me like I'm some type of genius robot that can't get tired,I've grown really ill because of fuckery like that. I have major trust issues now because of assholes like them and that's just some of the shit they put me through.

I used to have a solid friend group and we even cried with each other when one is feeling a bit down... At some point in my life, I lost true friends and never got the energy to find them. I want to go back to when I was 13. Life was a bit easier.

I won't be ranting here if I had someone to talk to. Sorry for venting here. I hate everyone in my school and I can't wait for college so I can just get away from those people. Again, sorry :'<