Idk

I’ve always had a feeling I was bi but I always had crushes on guys so I didn’t think much of it until high school. I was in this program and there was this girl who came out to our little group of girls that she was a lesbian. She was pretty open about it too and then I started noticing her more. She was a pretty touchy person so I started to get more conscious around her. The program ended before I started to develop a serious crush on her. The moment I was like “yeah I’m 100% bi” was when I started to like my friend’s childhood friend. We met at a pool party of said friend and I was attracted to her the moment I saw her. She was a pretty boyish looking girl but she was still so pretty. I’m a very shy person so we just exchanged greetings. I kept thinking about her after the party for a few weeks. My friend eventually found out (I came out to her and said I found my ideal girl type the same day as the party) and said that she wasn’t sure of her sexuality but I could try to hit her up. Me, being an insecure and scared piece of shit, I told my friend “nvm” and that was the end of my girl crush. I still haven’t found a girl I liked as much as her. I didn’t know her personally but I guess it was love at first sight. Ugh, I hate it, that was so cheesy. ╥﹏╥