Grew out of my fujoshi phase.
So I used to be a fujoshi when I was in middle school and I just enjoyed the romance in general. I was a fujoshi who was open to reading Yuri and straighf romance as well but I def had a preference for yaoi.
I eventually outgrew it because I started to hate a lot of the tropes and felt that they were very toxic and gross...I'm looking at you Ten Count.
Now, the reason why I liked it in the first place and the reasons I think some fujoshis may like yaoi as well is simply two reasons:
1. I like guys and two hot guys was better than one.
2. I liked that the bottom or uke was bottom because I tend to like docile men and I couldn't find shoujo mangas with women as the top...it was always the strong ML and the cute FL; which is fine but I wanted change.
Obviously I don't have problem finding strong FLs now lol. But basically the reason I wanted to share this is that while fujoshis get a lot of hate and I can see why... I think maybe if instead of calling them stupid or gross we can maybe explain how this can be fetishising towards gay men because while I never really ended up fetishising gay men because I stopped before that could happen. The more you are a fujoshi the more you are likely to fetishise.
Now, don't get me wrong this doesn't mean I'm saying that we should ban ourselves from, reading yaoi. I just think rather than reading it cuz it's gay we should read for romance and plot.
Like I still have some yaoi that I might read but when it comes down to it I'd read Yuri or straight equally as well because all I wasn't is a good Romance story.
It's really late at night rn and I'm kind of tired so I may not have expressed myself well enough, but if you outgrew your phase share ur story and tell me why you liked it in the first place! Did you end up fetishising gay men or did u stop before it can happen?
Also if you happen to be a gay man, what are your thoughts on fujoshis? I reckon they are not very kind thoughts...understandable tho.
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honestly i recently discovered yaoi recently, since i joined the anime community then, and i read my fair share of yaoi, i think. my friends who are older-- some themselves have gone through a fujoshi phase--have taught me that fujoshis are disgusting people who sexualize a gender, and it isnt that hard to see. the last thing i would want is to be a fujoshi, really.
however, sometimes, i feel like ive grown an obsession towards yaoi? and it makes me feel gross. lately, i havent been reading as much which im sort of proud of, and i expect myself to eventually stop reading it completely (with the exception of shounen ai). i tell myself that im still young and that ill just mature later.
anyways, i don't necessarily think im a fujoshi, as ive never really aggressively sexualized men, and i don't think being a fujoshi is justifiable. i dont want to insult people directly for doing what they like, but theres a certain point where its just excessive, yknow?
i realize my input on this topic is kind of irrelevant, but i just wanted to share my experience. so far.
Nooo it's not irrelevant at all, I understand totally. I'd say as long as you're here for the romance rather than just seeing men get it on and if you're fine with reading all sorts of romance then you should be fine.
If it helps you can tell me what you like about yaoi and I can maybe try to find a non yaoi equivalent of it. Because that's what helped me as well!
Dont worry everyone has their opinion, in fact i also feel the same with you.
I used to be a hardcore yaoi fan always read yaoi everyday. But somehow these days i rarely find a good yaoi story so i kinda grow tired with it
Yea I don't wanna sound old but back in my day yaoi was romantic and cute and now it's just sex and non consensual and very toxic...
It made me sick fr