Don't go that way

I'm sorry I'm not good with this stuff... my intention is not to give ideas or whatever. My experience goes from trying to jump off a bridge while very high on meds and alcohol, badly crashing my car 5 or 6 times (I don't have one anymore), mixing alcohol with really strong meds, drugs and alcohol (lost count at how msny times I went to the ER ... one ended in a pretty bad alcohol poisoning), sex with complete kinky strangers (I could get a disease or get killed by some crazy mtfkr), not eating just drinking alcohol and smoking for more than a month (that got me really sick considering I was on meds all the time, bug not dead) .... U see that's what I remember but even though I've bee through all this I'm still here, maybe I wasn't really supposed to go earlier... I'm happy? No. I'm gonna try my best to keep on going despite the odds and despite the fact that my own mind plays tricks on me daily ? Yes. How am I gonna do that? Dunno. Probably I'm gonna just swing through life as fast as I can trying not to think too much.

I'm sorry about all this, it's just my experience. I can't really say any helpful thing but i wish u to know that u are not struggling alone. Reach from help even if it's from ur own self.