Forgetting Something

I thought that it was normal until i saw someone on tik tok say "hitting your kids and saying its discipline is messed up"
I never actually thought that it was abuse
I thought that being hit when i made a mistake was normal
Your telling me it wasn't?
So when my parents hit me when i was 5 it wasn't normal?
Your telling me that when i said "i understand i did something wrong, its okay to hit me" wasn't normal????
Your telling me being knocked over on a high chair by your dad because you broke a single piece of glassware wasn't normal?
Your telling me that i was scared of holding or at least EVEN TOUCHING something glass wasn't normal?
SO IS THIS WHY I WANTED TO DIE AT 7???
I THOUGHT IT WAS ALL MY FAULT
WDYM THAT WASN'T NORMAL?
Being scared of older people screaming at me wasn't normal?
Flinching when dad knocked really loudly on the door wasn't normal?
Being afraid of any grown men, relatives included, wasn't normal?
Your really telling me all these weren't normal...?
Then... My whole childhood wasn't normal?