Embarrassing Kinks

theres something wrong with me, idk i just dont understand.....i have a great family, a nice stable life, but im soo stupid i cant do anything my parents espects of me, i keep acting like a retard and i dont know what to do!
i want to die, i dont want to burden anyone anymore! i really want to die but i just want someone to give me a little push because im scared i know i will be punish being a useless disgusting human being so please just tell me to do it!

i cant live anymore, i dont deserve this im not depressed so i dont know whats wrong with mee!

pls help me...i know this is stupid,i know the world made a mistake bringing me into this world so pls help me! there so many people suffering who would love to be in my place, but here i am being a useless bish!