Polyamory

Aparently poly is a bit more complicated than 2 people kind of relationships (idk what u call it) besides its a damn crowd

Okay so I have a girlfriend and I've always been loyal to her, we've been going strong for almost two years now! But the issue is I've always wondered if I'm poly and honestly the thought of telling her about me questioning myself on this terrifies me. I really started questioning myself on this about a year ago when I first met my online friend Brandon. I ended up having a crush on him even while I loved my girlfriend, that's when I started looking more into poly stuff and trying to figure things out. Eventually, he left the community we were in together so I was able to forget about him for a while until he came back sometime this year. Again I developed a crush on him and really started to like him again but still, I was with my girlfriend and loved her a lot. He was a huge part of this questioning journey I've been on for a while now. I doubt I'll ever have the courage to talk to her about it but I know she's a very understanding person and would at least hear me out. I don't know if I'm 100% polyamorous but I question myself a lot on it. I hope one day I can figure it out, and if I am poly I hope she'll accept me for this too.

Anyone else non monogamous here??
What's your opinion on polyamory?
Do you support kitchen table polyamory or do you also think that having separate partners who never meet and you have different priorities for also counts? (parallel polyamory)
What about open relationships?

To anyone monogamous, what's your image of polyamory, or would you ever consider it?

I don't identify as polyamorous but I'm no stickler for labels. I just say I'm not monogamous. I don't have superficial relationships either, I just have multiple ones at the same time, sometimes long term sometimes short term. Sometimes they know each other sometimes they never meet. I just look at how I'm attracted to people and what I want to give to them individually, if that makes sense. I feel that love is a spectrum.


How do you guys feel about jealousy?
I've been thinking about that emotion lately. Not in the sense that I'm jealous often, just that I find the types of situations that make me jealous interesting, and how it usually has to do with me than the other person.

Like, if I'm jealous, it's not because I hate looking at someone I love being with someone else or them talking about someone else they love, but under particular circumstances if we don't have good communication I get insecure that they might leave me for the other person, and that's what triggers my jealousy.
I just have these thoughts: "what if they prefer them over me?" and then, when I realize they choose to be with me because they want to, and that person is a completely different person from me so what I'm thinking doesn't make sense, my jealousy goes away!

But Idk, it's very interesting, whenever I feel jealous. I've been having these jealous moments lately.


Just things I've been thinking about lately that I wanted to share and hear how others feel about them. Any thoughts?