Question

This is to clarify to cis women why watching gay porn is bad and how fetishizing gay couples is wrong.

First off, at the end of the day, you'll do whatever you want. I can't force you to NOT do it so feel free to scroll past or even debate me in the comments. Let's keep it civil.

1) Why cis women watching gay porn is fetishizing
- As cis women, you will never and can never experience what it feels like to be a gay man. I have seen a surprising number of women say that the only reason they'd want to be a man is to be gay. It's a rather odd phenomenon, but I believe it's because of the unrealistic portrayals of gay sex. I'm sorry to break it to you, but gay sex is not the same as 'yaoi' sex. I'm sure you all have enough of a brain to understand that, but to further my point I believe a lot of cis women want to be in a gay relationship to be the 'uke'...which doesn't make sense since you'd be at the receiving end of sex with a man as a woman anyway. These are all from personal experiences, mind you, and if you've had a different experience then I'd love to hear it. Let's cut into how this is harmful;

- The bottom (which I will be referring to as the 'uke') is typically hyperfeminized and given youthful, 'girly' features. While this is not inherently bad, when gay content is being produced by cis women it is not a surprise that they feminized the receiver and masculinized the giver. It's something very heteronormative and easy to digest content for cis women because that is what they are used to. Seeing lists of manga tagged "uke-like seme" because the seme presents more femininely or isn't as masculine as the uke, or "seme on seme" which is an oxymoron but roughly translates to two masculine men having sex/falling in love with each other, are all topics of concern to me. For fujoshi's, the lines between fiction and reality blur. Please never call an actual gay bottom an 'uke' or act surprised when a masculine man says they are a bottom. Gay culture is far more complex then your 'uke-seme' labels, and using these labels regularly not only erases gay culture but also forces it to conform to straight sex roles (both in sex and in society).

- My last point on this issue. If the gay community tells you that something is fetishization, it is not in your place to tell them otherwise. You come off as entitled, and while not blatantly homophobic, it comes off as you trying to police what is and isn't homophobic. Just listen, for gods sake.

2) Fetishizing gay couples ('yaoi couples')

- I can't believe I have to explain to you how this is bad but...to put it simply, reading a gay manga just because you want to see the sex is fetishizing. Reading it because you find gay sex 'hot' is fetishizing. You are no better than straight men fetishizing lesbian and bi women.

- Not all yaoi is bad, but a large majority is. If you wouldn't read this in a straight couple, don't read it in yaoi. Rape, abuse, and pedophilia is WAYYY too normalized in the fujoshi community.

- Please just listen to queer people when we correct you on your behavior. Do not take it to heart, we're literally trying to make YOU better people. Ignoring us and continuing to do it cause you're deadass addicted to gay men fucking each other is a new low.