I Need Help

Guys im on my first year of College and its just the first week and im already so overwhelmed. I never even thought I would have lived this long to the point I'm attending it because I've always thought im gonna be dead before high school even finish. I mean I guess its a great achievement that im even attending college but it feels like a mistake already. I still don't know what to major in and I just picked random classes just to show my parents that im going to college and have a control of my life, but then they started to bombard me with questions such as "why don't you know what you wanna major in?" Or "why is your college so expensive?" Or "Everyone already picked what they have wanted to study why can't you?" Fuck i know its not the worst thing to ask since they're probably just concerned but it just gives me more stress. Entering a new environment with tons of people, not knowing what direction I would take, my friends not being there its all getting in to me. Especially seeing everyone knowing what they wanna do, having dreams and such it makes me feel so uneasy. I know that everyone also suffers with the same problems as me or probably even worse im not stupid (maybe). I just don't know what to do with my life back then and still even now. I dont know what i would be like in 5 years, all i see is me being dead or being a bum or homeless or just fucked up. I feel like I should just drop out but im gonna try to push more through it. im planning to talk to one of the counselors and plan ahead. Wish me luck hope I don't kms lmao.

Is this me just playing the victim card? I think so. Am I going insane? Maybe. What do you guys think?

Can someone please recommend me some good (gaming) laptops that are BUDGET-FRIENDLY? Preferably ones with a 512GB or 1TB storage and a good processor for playing games.
I've been searching on Amazon and most are like ₹100k+, however, I did find some within like a good ₹30k range (Acer Aspire, Dell and Lenovo).
I've been planning to get one in 2027 after completing hs but as a student, I'm not really in the position to spend more than like ₹35k-40k at once so like

Most of the ones in my folder are either completed, completely dropped, or something else , I really need more BL & GL to read

Recalling two inter-linked stories. The first (main) story is about a high-school sensei (school-doctor/teacher) and a high-school student couple. The second story which follows is at the same high-school and is a student and student relationship with a tough looking high-school delinquent seme with medium length light hair who wears a loose-open-school-uniform-shirt over a t-shirt (he is friends with the boy from the first story) and he is taller than the short timid high-school uke with dark hair who wears his school-uniform neat-and-proper. They kept meeting up in the school-rooftop and they soon began to sleep together. There is a time-skip/time-jump that happens during the second storyline where this couple are arriving at their college entry and both the seme and uke appear to be older-young-men now. Only the uke is much taller and muscular than the slender seme. The muscular/tall uke is still timid even though he is getting noticed by college-girls like he is eye-candy to these girls which the uke does not realize how good-looking he is from his growth-spurt. One day during sex (in their dorm-room/bedroom/apartment), the muscular/tall uke confesses that he hates still being a virgin, more so now that he is muscular/taller than the seme, and he wants to have sex like real men do. The seme starts planning to get a college-girl to sleep with his boyfriend so the uke could lose his virginity. The seme is going to talk to his college-female-friend who likes uke (his lover), but she does not know that they are boyfriends. The seme loses his nerve in asking her because he doesn't have confidence that he can keep his boyfriend after the uke sleeps with a college-girl. In the end, the seme decides to bottom for the uke (that way nobody but him touches his lover while he makes his boyfriend a man). If anybody knows this manga title please let me know. TY in advance <3.