I Need Help

Guys im on my first year of College and its just the first week and im already so overwhelmed. I never even thought I would have lived this long to the point I'm attending it because I've always thought im gonna be dead before high school even finish. I mean I guess its a great achievement that im even attending college but it feels like a mistake already. I still don't know what to major in and I just picked random classes just to show my parents that im going to college and have a control of my life, but then they started to bombard me with questions such as "why don't you know what you wanna major in?" Or "why is your college so expensive?" Or "Everyone already picked what they have wanted to study why can't you?" Fuck i know its not the worst thing to ask since they're probably just concerned but it just gives me more stress. Entering a new environment with tons of people, not knowing what direction I would take, my friends not being there its all getting in to me. Especially seeing everyone knowing what they wanna do, having dreams and such it makes me feel so uneasy. I know that everyone also suffers with the same problems as me or probably even worse im not stupid (maybe). I just don't know what to do with my life back then and still even now. I dont know what i would be like in 5 years, all i see is me being dead or being a bum or homeless or just fucked up. I feel like I should just drop out but im gonna try to push more through it. im planning to talk to one of the counselors and plan ahead. Wish me luck hope I don't kms lmao.

Is this me just playing the victim card? I think so. Am I going insane? Maybe. What do you guys think?

Can someone please recommend me some good (gaming) laptops that are BUDGET-FRIENDLY? Preferably ones with a 512GB or 1TB storage and a good processor for playing games.
I've been searching on Amazon and most are like ₹100k+, however, I did find some within like a good ₹30k range (Acer Aspire, Dell and Lenovo).
I've been planning to get one in 2027 after completing hs but as a student, I'm not really in the position to spend more than like ₹35k-40k at once so like

Most of the ones in my folder are either completed, completely dropped, or something else , I really need more BL & GL to read