Falling Inlove

I often wonder if others feel love as intensely as I do, especially because it’s so dramatized on screen, making it hard to truly understand love as a concept in real life.
It’s even more complicated by the fact that, in today’s world, many people seem to be yearning for a relationship not out of love, but because they like someone enough to date or hook up with them. It feels like dating has become more of a necessity than an emotional connection, which makes it even harder to recognize what genuine love really is.

For me, love is wholehearted. I've loved two people in my lifetime, though I've had several crushes. When I'm in love, I become insufferable—absolutely insufferable. I don't even realize it in the first few months; it's like a switch flips, and suddenly, my life’s mission becomes to improve their life. I remember once stopping drawing entirely because my crush was deeply religious and believed that imitating life through art was sinful. At that time, I wasn’t religious at all, but I just stopped. I never questioned why I did it for this random person in my life—I just did, and for a long time too, and as someone who uses art as a crutch that was insane. Looking back, I can now see it was because I was completely head over heels.

Sometimes, I get really possessive, but I’d never show it. It just eats at me inside, and I can’t stop thinking about them. It’s almost like a drug, consuming my thoughts. It’s intense, and it takes over, but I try to keep it to myself. It wont ever affect them, just myself, I just become increasingly helpful to my crush because my love language is acts of service.

Am I insane? Cause I don't seem to see people around me love as strongly as I do.

I'm recently reading Open the door ( an esperguideverse ) The story isn't inherently outstanding since the seme comes off as toxic but out of the blue mc gets a flashback of a child who saved his life but probably is dead now. I have nothing against properly established stories of reunion where the MCs actually had something to do with each other but more often that not it's done lazily by authors just to have something like fate / they were meant to be together / oooh they knew each other as kids and is sloppily done without any prior context or not elaborated. It's really annoying me.

There's another trope where adult MCs are weirdly portrayed with child / baby mls ( even in art ) or one of them turning into a child.


Some examples:- from stories I don't remember
Mc remembering ml bought him a can of coke ( this is probably from omega complex or sm )
Mc buying icecream for ml in their childhood
Mc saving ml from dying
Mc giving candy to ml in their childhood
Mc passing by ml when they were kids
( My point is there is absolutely no significance to the relationship whether they knew each other in their childhood or not )